Updates...

Hello all! I'm sorry for my lack of posting during this trip. My days are busy and I hardly ever have a chance to get in wifi so I can post! I love Berlin but I miss everyone! I wish you could all be here alongside me. The reality of the darkness in Berlin is hitting me day by day. Its a tough place for ministry, but so worth it! The most effective way to evangelize here is relationally...and this takes TIME. Especially with Germans. Relationships in itself are hard to make with Germans, they are very reserved. But, to bring faith into the equation is a whole other battlefeild. By time, I mean months and years. Unfortunately, since I am only here for a month, its been really hard to find my place in the ministry here. I recognize the need for Jesus here, but I'm not sure how I fit into that equation when really the only way to make a lasting impact on someone is to build trust. I just dont have that time. Not only that, but the language barrier is taking a HUGE toll on me. Its really hard to feel the need to talk to people and not be able to.

For the past week or so, I've been just really asking God...WHY am I here? For what purpose have you brought me all the way to Berlin if I am not able to do what I THINK ministry should look like. He's teaching me...day by day. Its taking a while to understand, but I guess I'll just have to trust. In the mean time, I've been doing tasks & cleaning around the church I'm working with, and various outreaches.

-RESET Church put on something called "Reset Live" last Saturday. It was simply a concert, featuring three songwriters. Not worship, just music and people. Very casual. We brought people into a church without actually having church! It was a great way to get people in and comfortable with Reset. I played along with 2 other artists. Such a weird experience! I'm not used to "preforming" my music. But it was a great experience and I got to meet so many nice people.

-Coffee To Go: Tuesday some Students for Christ students went out to a university here in berlin to pass out free coffee, make conversation, and invite people to "The Living Room" (SfC's tuesday night gathering). It was an interesting experience because I couldnt really interact with people since I dont speak german...I mostly just observed, smiled, and poured some coffee, ha!

-A few days ago Aaron had an idea to bake for some of our elderly neighbors. Jeanette made brownies and we went and passed them out. Such a special way to make friendships.

-Monday night I went to a lifegroup with some girls from Students for Christ. They were So welcoming. We talked about the holy spirit. But, like I said before, I dont speak German, so I literally understood none of it :) hhaha. Its great to be around these girls though and see the way Jesus moves in different countries. They have the same questions, same concerns, same hardships that I face. Its so cool.

-Yesterday the other intern (Bart from New York) and I went to a place called Der Garden (The Garden). Its a local ministry here in Berlin. We met up with other people from a group called European Initiative. There were about 20 of us total. ALOT of us from Texas, which was so refreshing to hear our accent :). We did worship and prayer together for a while which was AWESOME. Then we went out and did worship in the city.

Tonight Aaron is having about 9 people over for dinner from his language class. This is a vital way that him and Jeanette do ministry: inviting people IN and building relationships. None of these people know Jesus. I'm really excited to meet all of them!

What I have noticed so far with this trip...is that it is nothing like what I had expected. It is a very humbling experience to be in a place that you dont speak the language. You really just have to observe, and thats exactly what I've been doing. Observing the way this ministry thing works as a lifestyle, observing the way Aaron & Jeanette treat those around them, observing the gospel and what it truly means to be "a disciple" and not just a "believer", observing myself in the fact that my way of ministry is not always gods way....I'm learning so much. SO much. Its hard but so good. And I've never felt so called to my home, to my city, to my university. I cant wait to apply all the things I'm observing and learning in a place where I can actually COMMUNICATE! Jesus is working in a way I've never seen him work. Pray with me that I can understand and be obedient to the things hes teaching me! Pray that the seeds I plant, though small and seemingly insignificant sometimes, would reap a harvest and would add to Aaron & Jeanettes ministry here.

Finally in GERMANY!

Well, its so crazy that I'm FINALLY in Berlin! It feels like I've been waiting forever for this day to come and my adventure in Germany has finally begun! I will be updating daily (hopefully; or-as often as possible) here on my blog. Pictures, text updates, prayer requests, etc.

I had about a 11 hour flight from DFW to Frankfurt, Germany on Monday. You can imagine how uncomfortable I was! I had a 2 hour layover in Frankfurt. While I was there, I had to get my passport approved by some police ("politzi"), and they had some fun with me. They tried to tell me I need a visa (which I dont have to have one to stay 30 days), and that I couldnt enter the country without it. You have no idea how shaken up I was! NOT FUNNY! Trying to find my gate in a German airport was scary enough! Ha. But I found it and travelled one more hour into Berlin where Aaron, Jeanette, & their precious kids: Luke & Anna met me!

The first day (yesterday) I was  awake a total of like 30 hours! I was EXHAUSTED. That night, I got to visit RESET Church, which is the church I will be working with while I'm here. The college Students For Christ group met as well. I loved it! There was about 30 college students there. The night started up with a home cooked meal (sausage, potatoes, salad, & coffee), worship, a message, and then hang out time. Everyone was SO nice. I was amazed at how welcoming this group was! So many of them spoke fluent english. And not many people are actually from Berlin. Almost everyone is from somewhere around the world. In this college group alone I met people from Madagascar, Ukraine, England, etc. It sure did make me feel SMALL!

Today Jeanette took me out to see the tourist-y parts of Berlin: The Brandeburg Gate, The Reichstag, Potzdamer Platz (the 'timesquare' of Berlin: built 1990 & after), etc, and a Holocaust Memorial Museam.

 ^Berlin has lots of flower shops!

 ^There are also alot of street musicians! Today I saw quite a few in the train station.

^^ These horizontal stones trails all along the city to show where the Berlin wall used to be! So much history here!

 ^The Reichstag: the current, rebuilt parliament building. Formerly, it was where the German Parliament was housed. To gain power, Hitler burned it down in 1933. Only the 4 pillars remained.

^Brandenburg Gate: It is the only remaining gate of a series through which Berlin was once entered. So beautiful in person! 

Memorial to the Murdered Jews...very somber piece but I loved it. 

After our day's events, we had Bart (another polish intern @ SfC from New York) over for dinner, and then went out for gelato. I had kiwi :). We came home and all talked for a while about Jesus and what he's wanting to do with not only the Christ followers and church in Berlin, but back at home. 

I am so excited about whats going on here & cant wait to continue to update here on my blog. 

Its 11:30pm here so I should probably get ready for bed.

Pray for this ministry & for the city of Berlin!!! Love to all x

Lets Be Real Here....

Lets be real: trying to raise money for my mission trip to Germany this summer has to be one of the most stressful things I've ever had to do. Not stressful in the since that I have ALOT of things to do, stressful in the sense that everything is completely out of my hands.

I sent out over 30 support letters this past week, and have only heard back from two people. It scares me. It really does.

I distributed my EP a couple weeks ago, and I am not told when it will be up on itunes. They said it could be anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. So I have to check back every day. What if it doesnt get up in time for me to raise enough money?

I set my EP at $10, or so I thought. On my CDbaby account, it sells for $10. But it just released on amazon today....selling for $4.95. WHAT? Seriously....WHAT???? Its one of those things that theres literally nothing I can do. This means I'll get half the profit I thought I would from my EPs.

I literally have been worrying about finances over the past few weeks. Where is this money gonna come from? Will I have enough? WHY DOES EVERYTHING SEEM TO BE GOING WRONG? All these worries, dominating my thoughts. I dont want money to dominate my thoughts. Its so frustrating because I KNOW Jesus is gonna come through. I've seen him be faithful way too many times to expect him not to be. Besides, his faithfulness in MY life doesnt determine the FACT that hes faithful.

Ah, all in all. I just need some prayer. Honestly, just pray for provision and for my trust in him to grow exponentially in this season.


My EP is out on Amazon  and CDbaby now. It will be up on iTunes in the next few days (hopefully).

A Belated Birthday

My best friend Kristie's birthday was this past monday, but unfortunately, I wasnt home to celebrate. So this past friday, we had a little belated birthday outing. Me Han & K went to Starbucks happy hour (non fat white chocolate mocha frap with one pump raspberry...I die) and gave her gifts. Then we headed over to downtown frisco to do some thrifting. We went to a place called the Frisco Mercantile, which I had NEVER even heard of but its seriously like an indoor trade days! Its awesome & we found some steals. Then we went to chilis and had a little surprise dinner for her with a bunch of our friends. It was a fun day.

My finds: 

Pretty little book: $2

Hand Embroidered Pillow: $8

Film//

About a month ago, I was given a Holga 135mm camera from my friend and talented photographer/ videographer/media-guru/sometimes drummer, Jacob Norris. I had some fun with a roll of film for the past few weeks and just got the photos developed tonight. I didnt really know what to expect with these, but I definitely was not amazed with the results. I'm hoping the more I use it and learn what works best, the better the photos will come out. Some of the pictures were just SO blurry, I cant imagine thats how they are supposed to look. All in all though, theyre a fun mix up from a digital camera. Here are a few:

Last minute cramming...

Please excuse the lack of blog posts this week! Its FINALS week and I'm getting in some last minute studying tonight before my last final tomorrow morning. And guess what....its my LAST math test EVER! Great feeling...although I kinda enjoyed math. So, tomorrow I'll be heading home to the great state of Texas! I'm super excited, but I must say, I'm gonna miss Fayetteville this summer. (It kinda makes me want to jump for joy that I am able to say that...its been a tough year here). Having an apartment and living with awesome girls is making everything so FUN! Anyways, just wanted to post SOMETHING since my blog has been a little dead lately. Next time I post I will offically be a sophomore in college! When did I grow up?


P.S. If you noticed, I have added a "donate" button on the top left hand corner of my page. This is for my month long mission trip to Germany this summer. You can read more about it here. I have to raise $2500 so anything and everything is appreiciated!!!!

Anticipation//

Ever had one of those moments where your just too excited to do ANYTHING but be excited?! I just now had one of those moments. I was just sent a few of the final mixes off my upcoming "ONE" EP! Um, can you say GREAT DAY? I'm just so excited. I cant believe how this is all coming together.

For those of you who dont know, I am going to Germany this summer to serve alongside missionary Aaron Alexander (my very first youth pastor!) through an organization called Students For Christ in Berlin. We will be working with University students, sharing Christ, showing love. Additionally, we will be helping local church, RESET. I'm going for a month to serve in whatever way I can. Small groups, bible studies, loving people in the city, worship, or even just babysitting Aaron's kids. WHATEVER I can do. When I considered going about 6 months ago, the Lord put on my heart to use my music to get me there. I didnt really know how I'd do that. But then, after some prayer I knew he was calling me to use my original music, my voice, my guitar, and record and sell an album. WHAT?? God!! No! I'm such an amateur! Ah, we all know he uses the least likely. I'm so humbled. And its amazing to see the Lords faithfulness come to pass. He has put this whole thing together before my eyes through the hands of his people. Its so awesome.

The EP is called "ONE". I heard that word when Jesus lead me to do this EP. It represents the gospel and how we are ONE, we are his bride, we are the same spirit, we are His. No more division, no more rituals or law to make us 'clean' and 'worthy' to be in his presence, we are ONE. Always, constantly in him, he in us. This is a truth that Germany NEEDS to hear. That legalism is DEAD and MERCY is alive!

This EP will be releasing on iTunes in the next week, so keep your eyes open as I update here on my blog! All funds raised through this EP will go directly to sending me to Germany, and any extra will go to supporting Aaron & his family. Stay posted for more information on this EP, as well as what I'll be doing there, details of the trip, background and process of the songs, and ways you can help!

Hannahs Sr Pictures- Sneak Peak!

A few months ago, Hannah had asked me to take her senior pictures! Uh..YES? So, this past weekend when she came up to visit, we put a couple outfits together and went out to shoot! Living on campus, I hardly get to see all the natural beauty Arkansas has to offer. So, we went out into the countryside of Arkansas and found some pretty beautiful spots. It was so much fun shooting with one of my very best friends. I enjoyed every moment! Here are some of my favorite shots:

Taking pictures is such a fun thing. I love it. If any of you are into this stuff too, feel free to give me some tips or constructive criticism!

Happy Spring

Its spring time. Everythings a little brighter. Smiles a little wider. A fresh season.

 Both sunny days and spring showers. I love all the flowers. Like the ones that

 grow on the side of the road. Right by a garbage dumpster, or, hidden behind 

a building. I like them because they grow in an unexpected place. And they sprout

 up on their own from soil and branches that were dead only weeks ago. It reminds 

me of mercy and restoration. It reminds me that life continues, and that seasons of

 life change. Nothing is hopeless. Happy spring.

-----

A Lovely Weekend...

This weekend was a weekend I had been looking forward to for a very long time. It was the first time I had a whole weekend with my two best friends in Arkansas. We've been trying to plan for them to come up and visit since last semester, and it finally happened. Its so refreshing to have them in my town. It doesnt even feel like the same place when theyre here. It was a short two days, but I cherished every second. We tasted Thai food for the first time, made many trips to get frozen yogurt, spent some time antique and thrift shopping, and alot of time together with Jesus. It was everything I wanted it to be, everything I needed, & more! Here are some snapshots of our weekend:

I love you both so so so so much. 

Come back!

With my summer countdown decreasing to...15 days... I cant help but dwell on my excitement for what the next couple weeks and months have in store! I just wanted to spend a little time blogging about my the things I'm looking forward to!

1. Just three short days until my best girlfriends, Hannah & Kristie, will be up in Arkansas for a quick weekend trip! I'm sooo excited. We have seriously been trying to plan for all three of us to spend a weekend in Arkansas together since I first left! Both H & K have been here, but separately, and it just never feels whole. We always feel like a part of us is missing! Ahhhh. I cant wait. We are going to have an eventful weekend of bonding, thrifting, shopping, bible studies, adventuring, snapping photos, and just being together. 

2. Just over a week until I become the proud owner of my very own apartment! I seriously cannot wait! I'm living with 3 other girls, 2 of which I went to HS with, one is Kristie's twin, & the other is one of my best guy friends' sisters! So funny how that works out. None of us were close in highschool, but college has really brought us together! We are going to start painting the apartment a couple days after we get our keys and I am PUMPED! We already have a vision of what we want our walls to look like...and lemme tell ya, I'm excited. I'll try my best to document the result in pictures so I can post them here. So crazy! I am going to be decorating my own home! AH!

3. So something very exciting happened today. It was definitely divine intervention....one of those things where the second I submitted, God really poured out his favor. I got asked to be in the worship band for a summer camp, Alasso Ranch! I'm soooo excited to not only do what I love, but serve the people and church I love! Its going to be awesome. I'm really looking forward to leading worship alongside the people who taught me what worship is.

4. ROADTRIPS! I just recently confirmed dates for two awesome roadtrips this summer! I cant even begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to them both! Mid June I'll be heading down to Austin, TX with Han & Kristie to spend a few days together...doing whatever the heck we feel like! Then, a couple weeks later, I'll be roadtrippin' south to Lafayette, Louisiana with 5 of my best friends to go visit our dear friend Chris who moved to LA for school this past January. Its a 7-8 hour drive with a full packed car, so we figure we oughta document this whole trip ;)

4. Summer Job: I had been thinking about heading back to Sephora over the summer (I worked for them last year and LOVED it!), but my Aunt offered me a nanny position for her two precious little boys! It pays well, & I get to play with my little cousins all day! I'm super excited about this job!  

5. My EP has been in the works for about 6 months now....from the time I started writing the first song to now. It has been in the process of getting mixed, and is going to be released in the next couple weeks! I'm hoping to have it available on iTunes or another online source by May 12. Every purchase goes to sending me to Germany for missions, & if I make over what I need, it goes to Aaron & Jeanette Alexander, the missionary family from my church that I will serving under. This album means so much to me. Seriously, not only the fact that each song written truly is an out pour of my heart, but the love that has gone into this. I have been BEYOND blessed by the people that have helped me put this together. Seriously, I cant express my gratitude. 

6. Uhh....Germany! :)

What are you currently anticipating? Summer holds SO much excitement! Thanks for reading & sharing in my current joy!

Just an update....

Hello friends!

I appologize for the lack of update lately. I dont necissarily have the excuse of a "crazy schedule" this week, because honestly, its been a slow week. Of course I have things to do, but in the spare time, I'm taking advantage of napping! Its been so long. Today was perfect. It was cold and rainy, cloudy and dark. My bed was just waiting to be slept in. So...thats exactly what I did today. Napped. And drank coffee. And relaxed. Glorious day.

READING// Reading? Gosh. I feel like I havent read an actual book out of leisure in so long. I am currently not in a book right now, but the last one I read was hunger games. I actually finished it while sitting in the movie theater for four hours, waiting for the midnight premiere, ha! Aside from my text books, I dont have my nose in any novels :( But, blog wise, I'm really enjoying keeping up with Elsie & Emma over at A Beautiful Mess. They are so good about updating every day and keeping things fresh and interesting! My friend Blake & I are trying to figure out a time to go and visit her shop Red Velvet! Eeeep. Cant wait. 

WATCHING//  My favorite show is and will forever be Modern Family. I cant get enough! Phil cracks me up. This show makes me miss my family SO much! It was our 'thing' to watch it after dinner on Wednesday nights! I miss that. Cant wait to be home again and indulge in the re runs!

WORKING ON// Managing my time! I seriously have got to find out the meaning and application of the word balance. 

THINKING ABOUT// Giving up bread, sweets, & fried food for the next two weeks. Yup. I just decided today, its happening. I have been eating waaaay too much bread and chocolate. I mean...seriously, those are both my weaknesses. I love bread. And I love chocolate. Who doesnt?! But...I've decided to be drastic and give these things up for GOOD for the next two whole weeks! AH. I'm nervous, but excited too to see how much will power I have ;)

ANTICIPATING// Summer, duh. Three weeks, three weeks. Actually....in just 1 hour it will be 2 weeks and 6 days ;) Ha! I'm not excited or anything. But, I'm also anticipating all the fun plans that are coming along with summer time! I have a few trips planned here and there...Austin, Louisiana, Camp, uh...and GERMANY! Way tooooo excited.

LISTENING TO// The Black Keys

EATING// Like I said above, TOO MUCH BREAD & CHOCOLATE.

WISHING// That somehow, someday, someway, all my bestest friends could just live in one place, in one big house, all together, forever, enjoying life with nothing to hold us back. Happily ever after.

P.S. Dont mind the random underlining....for some reason my computer wont let me take it off!